March 31, 2005 Million Dollar Bong, Baby Unless you're really sick, pot's illegal. You can't buy it. You can't sell it. You can't be caught with it. But one business thrives on it. The business is Dementia, and while they don't trade in grass or any other illicit substances, they do sell everything else. Welcome to the tripped out world of head shops, bro. Dig the scented candles, incense and novelty lighters. Push past a pair of hinged doors and trip out on the pot head's paradise of paraphernalia: Pipes. Bongs. Vaporizers. Ash catchers. Lighters. You name it. It's the high class of high times. Whether you partake or not, the beauty of some bongs is hard to deny. Perhaps it's simply the play of light on colored glass, but these water pipes do possess qualities we appreciate in fine art: hand blown, highly sculptural, each one unique. Okay most are the type you find from frat houses to festivals across the globe. But one model, from a German manufacturer called Roor, stands out like the president of the Young Republicans at a Dead concert. Tall and straight and clear, Roor pipes' sleek design makes them look like lab equipment branded like high-end German sports equipment. They'll set you back $100 to $170. This "Cadillac of water pipes" might seem like the top of the top. But showcased at Dementia, under glass in the center of the store, is a real show stopper of a bong. It's a three chamber bubbler that looks like its rightful owner would be a hobbit. It's out of this world. For real. A mere $3200, and it can be yours. Not quite a million dollars, but probably more than you want to spend on apple tobacco or any other legal substance. So the question remains: How's it smoke? We wouldn't know. Dementia has six L.A. locations. We visited the one at 14512 Ventura Blvd. in Sherman Oaks. Tel: 818.461.1393.